i always wondered why i need people now. more so than in the past whereby videogames were much more to my tastes. i cannot get the same joy i used to have as a child. now, like a vampire that feeds on blood, i too feed. but not in blood, rather in the souls, happiness sadness anger whatever. just hearing people talk makes me feel alive. it tells me to keep breathing and that there is purpose in life.
this isnt a healthy way to live at all. where in the world did it come from? i want to be able to self-endulge but i cant. i enjoy too much being in the presence of others. is it because i cannot feed on my own essence? is my existance but an empty shell that requires constant refilling from alternative external sources?
i want to provide my own energy. i want to create my own happiness. i want to live...
and if i am a vampire regardless. where else can i get my feed...? from pets? i have been wanting a dog for awhile. it is the closest thing to a baby and requires less commitment. and i love babies =)
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